bc-kid-tips 08-21

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FOR RELEASE SUNDAY, AUG. 21, 2011

KID TIPS: PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS FOR EVERYDAY PARENTING

YOUTH CULTURE STRETCHES THE DEFINITION OF 'POPULAR'

BY TOM MCMAHON

There are many paths to popularity in childhood and adolescence. You've probably noticed that "popular" kids are not always described by other children as being nice, friendly and considerate. Sometimes they are described as mean, aggressive and antisocial. Although these last three adjectives clearly stretch the definition of "popular," researchers have confirmed that both types -- the truly well-liked popular kids and the aggressive/mean popular kids -- exist within the youth culture. For example, one study showed that aggressive and antisocial behavior in fourth- through sixth-grade boys actually can help catapult them to popularity, especially if their peers perceive them as being "cool." Other researchers have focused on cliques of popular adolescent girls, especially those who have a reputation for meanness.

While aggressive and mean behavior might be characteristics of some popular individuals, the vast majority of popular youngsters earned their reputation the old-fashioned way: by being socially skilled, considerate, friendly, good-natured, humorous and confident (but not overbearing or conceited).

Thanks to the parents and grandparents for sending in a favorite kid tip or two.

SET AN EXAMPLE

I wanted to set an example for my son as he was reaching his teen years, so I quit using alcohol. It's been years since, and my son is grown now. I still abstain. Setting a personal example is always better than telling someone not to do something, especially if you do it yourself. -- U.C.S., Oakland, Calif.

A CLEAN SLATE -- EVERY DAY

When my children have a bad day or are upset by something that happened that day, I tell them that tomorrow will be a new day and that we begin each day with a clean slate. They always seem somewhat relieved to hear this. It allows them to leave their troubles behind as a new day begins. It's worked for my children! -- B.L., Santa Cruz, Calif.

BIG DECISIONS FOR TEENS

Beginning in early adolescence and continuing throughout adulthood, we are faced with many predicaments, dilemmas and big decisions. Unfortunately, many of our choices are made by a quick, knee-jerk reaction instead of through careful thought and contemplation. So, I have always encouraged my teens to use the "pro and con method," which clearly defines all of the advantages and disadvantages of a decision. The answer to their questions usually is obvious after they review all of the pros and cons they listed. Typical issues and dilemmas were "Should I break up with my boyfriend?"; "Should I buy this car?"; and "Should I attend this college?" (each college being considered had its own sheet). I created a form for this exercise on my computer, which I print out for family members when needed. It has two lined columns, one for "PRO" and the other for "CON." At the top it says "List question here," and at the bottom it says "List best answer here.

CHARACTERISTICS OF BDD IN CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS ...

Even though BDD usually develops during adolescence, there’s very little published research on BDD in adolescents or children. Nonetheless, what we do know suggests that BDD’s characteristics in this age group are very similar to those in adults. Like adults, children and adolescents have prominent, distressing, time-consuming preoccupations that can focus on any body area but often involve the face. Insight is often poor. A majority think that other people take special notice of them in a negative way because of how they look—staring at them, talking about them, or laughing at them. Most perform compulsive behaviors, such as mirror checking. BDD symptoms cause problems with functioning, which can range from mild to extremely severe. This may include poor grades, stopping sports and other activities, and withdrawing from family and friends. In more severe cases, children and adolescents with BDD drop out of school, become housebound, require psychiatric hospitalization, and may even attempt suicide.The following table summarizes some of BDD’s characteristics in 47 systematically assessed children and adolescents. As this table illustrates, BDD in children and adolescents consists of painful and time-consuming preoccupations and compulsive behaviors that cause significant distress and impairment in functioning. Social impairment is nearly universal and often consists of extreme self-consciousness, embarrassment, and avoidance of social interactions. A majority have problems with school, and some even drop out. Of great concern, a very high percentage think about, or attempt, suicide.BDD in children and adolescents appears generally similar to BDD in adults. One apparent difference, however, is that most of the children and adolescents I’ve seen were female. This may reflect boys’ greater reluctance to seek help for appearance concerns, rather than a true difference in how common BDD is in boys versus girls. In the previously mentioned inpatient study in which all hospitalized adolescents were assessed, half were male and half were female. In a recent study, I also found that adolescents had poorer insight than adults and were more likely to have attempted suicide.

Characteristics of adolescence

Characteristics of adolescence

Characteristics of adolescence

Developmental psychology

The psychology of adolescence